I’m writing this while procrastinating calling the coroner’s office. It won’t have much if anything to do with games or development, but seeing as I’m pretty sure the majority of people who end up reading this are friends and loved ones this feels like a more appropriate space than a social media account. Words I can share for when I don’t quite feel up to talking.
All I know at the moment is that my mother has passed away, she was found in her home yesterday and no foul play is suspected – that’s all the officer who came to deliver the news had to offer, the coroner will have more information.
I don’t know much about my mothers life before me, nor do I know anything about her life in the last 15 years. What I do know is she struggled with significant mental health issues, issues that had me every 1-2 years living with a relative for a period of time (longest period was my Dad for a school-year) while she recuperated in Alberta Hospital, for all the friends I’ve met in BC – Alberta still has dedicated medical hospitals for mental health. The fact BC doesn’t is red-flag number… un-countable at this point. Stopping my immanent tangent on how subversively dangerous a crap performative government with a pretty façade can be… now. Also, thank you autocorrect for that fancy c back there.
Didn’t sleep much last night, my mother isn’t something that has occupied my brain space over the last decade. Rather than sleeping I couldn’t help myself mining for memories from the depths of… wherever they go. Reconciling the person who was dragged out of the house when I was in Grade 3~ by police due to erratic and violent behavior (the neighbors were incredibly concerned about my health, but only inanimate objects suffered any damage), who ripped the telephone out of the wall only to throw it into the dishwasher while declaring our dead grandfather was coming to visit. This is the same person who when I was a child with chronic nightmares would sit by my bed until I fell asleep, every night. Even when I was being a brat and making whiney noises of discontent if I was conscious enough to know she was slowly sneaking out of the room.
I got about this far before talking with the corners office. I don’t have much more to say on the topic, my next online journal update will be closer to the topics I usually talk about in this space, going to take a break for awhile first though.